You can see your teen is struggling, but every attempt to talk seems to end in silence, frustration, or a quick change of subject.
You want to help, yet the thought of bringing up therapy feels like walking on eggshells. Will they take it the wrong way? Will they shut you out completely?
Talking to teens about therapy can be one of the hardest conversations for a parent, especially when you’re already worried about their emotional well-being.
Finding the right words and the right approach can make all the difference in helping them feel understood and supported.
How to Start the Conversation – Do’s and Don’ts
Starting the conversation is the most important step.
Approach it with an open heart and a non-judgmental attitude. Your goal is to create a space where they feel safe enough to listen.
Do’s:
- Choose the Right Time: Find a calm moment when you’re both relaxed, not during an argument or when you are both busy. A car ride or a quiet walk can be a great time to talk.
- Use “I” Statements: Frame the conversation from your perspective. Instead of saying, “You need help,” try saying, “I’ve noticed you seem a bit withdrawn lately, and I’m worried about you. I care about you so much and just want you to feel happy.”
- Normalize Therapy: Explain that therapy is a tool for personal growth, just like a coach for a sports team or a tutor for schoolwork. Mention that many people, even adults, go to therapy to deal with stress or difficult times.
- Focus on a Specific Problem: Instead of a general statement like “You seem sad,” be more specific if you can. For example, “I see that the pressure from school has been really hard, and I want to help you find a way to manage that stress.”
- Give Them Control: Inquire about their thoughts on how to start therapy. Let them have a say in choosing a therapist or even deciding on the timing of the first appointment. This respects their independence and makes them feel empowered.
- Be Patient: Don’t give up if they say no right away. Let them know you’re there for them and are ready to talk again when they are. This shows your love and respect for their pace.
Don’ts:
- Don’t Blame Them: Avoid phrases that place blame, like “If you didn’t do this, we wouldn’t have this problem.” The conversation should be about support, not judgment.
- Don’t Be Judgmental: Do not make them feel like there is something wrong with them. Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength.
- Don’t Threaten: Avoid ultimatums like “If you don’t go to therapy, then…” This will only increase their resistance and make them feel forced.
Offering Teen Mental Health with Compassionate, Culturally Sensitive Care
At BMH Consulting Services, our highly trained and experienced psychotherapists are here to guide your teen and your family through challenging times with compassion and expertise.
Our psychotherapy services in Brooklyn are culturally and ethnically sensitive, meeting the unique needs of every teen we serve.
We also offer group programs that help parents better understand their parenting style, their child’s development, and the stressors they may face.
If your teen is struggling, you don’t have to face it alone. Book an appointment today and take the next step toward healing and connection.